|It's really, really not.|
The best thing about Two Thousand Maniacs is Lewis' rollicking theme song, which y'all better sit yourselves down and listen to right here. The guy could have been a pretty good musician if he hadn't settled for being a pretty bad filmmaker. The second best thing about Two Thousand Maniacs are the maniacs (I didn't count, so I don't know if there were two thousand), including Jeffrey Allen as Mayor Buckman and Linda Cochran as psycho nympho Betsy. The third best thing about Two Thousand Maniacs are how unhinged the murders are. It takes a special kind of mind to dream up the deaths in this movie. I mean, there's axe murderers, there's serial killers, and then there's slaughtering a guy by tying his various extremities to four different horses and sending them galloping off simultaneously. That's commitment.
Unfortunately, the murders in Two Thousand Maniacs -- however creative they get -- are too few and far between to save viewers from excruciating boredom in the face of the relentlessly dull Yankee victims, who are not killed nearly soon or often enough. All in all, Two Thousand Maniacs gets a 2/5. It's better than Color Me Blood Red, but if you just want the gist of the Blood Trilogy, pop in Blood Feast and save yourself the filler.
|"Do you think the audience will be able to tell that I'm reading off cue cards?"|